My husband and I haven’t had intercourse for 10 yrs. Can we commence once again? | Lifetime and fashion

I am 60, and my spouse is 62. We have not had sexual intercourse for approximately 10 a long time and my spouse states that he just cannot see us ever acquiring a sex lifestyle once more. Is it attainable for a person who has absolutely shed his sexual intercourse drive to rediscover it? If so, how can I help him? I have questioned him to see the medical professional, or for us to get support, but he claims no. I think it would damage his ego. I really like him immensely, but would really like to remedy this.

You have omitted to demonstrate why now – following 10 decades – you instantly want to return to acquiring intercourse. The reason is hugely suitable, and could possibly be the foundation of a renewed hard work to modify things. It doesn’t seem as if you have been imbued with longing all this time, but probably you have. What ever the causes or conditions, you have a suitable to have the discussion now and to seek assist. Why or how you stopped making enjoy in the initially put is an important aspect.

For example, at times males cease wanting to have intercourse simply because they are suffering from a difficulty that scares or embarrasses them – this kind of as erectile dysfunction, which is something that can be resolved. Lots of of the causes for a reduction of sexual desire are induced by solvable issues – despair, worry, stress or a different treatable psychological concern. Often, attitudes or beliefs to intercourse in middle age or afterwards many years get in the way. A range of romance or family elements can be at the root of this loss, much too. Most importantly, there could be an undiagnosed professional medical condition that needs prognosis and remedy. I urge you to seek out the underlying rationale. Very little will alter unless of course you carefully insist. A concern about feasible medical causes will generally be a palatable excuse to seek out assistance with no moi hurt.

  • Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based mostly psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual diseases.

  • If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual issues, deliver us a short description of your concerns to [email protected] (you should do not send out attachments). Submissions are matter to our phrases and problems: see gu.com/letters-terms.